I mean, it all happened so fast. I couldn't sleep with all of the constant thoughts of uncertainty, yet hope, yet uncertainty. I have so much faith in God and what He is capable of but sometimes when the stakes seem so high, humanity finds its place as a priority in your mind at times and you have to fight it! I masked those doubts and covered them with the ultimate weapon. THE SCRIPTURES and PRAYER. Listening to the book of Daniel on my YouVersion application, hoping that the loud and strong voice of the narrator would drown out the thoughts, the worry of circumstance. And I’ll proudly admit, it helped. The pain in the pit of my stomach did finally subside, but I just couldn't help looking and so I did. I went on to look for jobs at 1:00 am in the morning. Hoping, wishing, silently praying.... and wait, what! There it was, what I considered to be my dream job (cushion). I was so happy and excited when I saw this opening. It was in total alignment with what I needed and I was stoked about it. So much that I excitedly got all of 4 hours of sleep after pouring over its intricate description of duties. Then I finally fell fast asleep.
Don't allow road blocks stop you from your journey. Keep going!
In the morning, I had lots of work to do, once I was done with it. I prepared my mind for how I would explain who I was and how I was qualified for this position. Let me tell you, I have never written a more beautiful cover letter. I was so positively confident that they were going to be so ecstatic about the gem that the would soon receive in their email. I imagined them jumping up and down with exclamation as they finished reading it and calling me immediately- not playing it cool.
Well, they did respond immediately, in a matter of hours I had an email from them. I was so shocked. So shocked in fact that I didn’t even get that low dropping feeling, you get in the pit of your stomach when you get bad news. I didn’t get the job, in fact, I didn't even get an offer for an interview. "How disappointing God!" (I thought to myself). I mean I have a masters degree for crying OUT LOUD! I am in the exact industry of this position (I thought of all of my qualifications). . And it truly would have been a blessing to work under such a prevalent leader in my field. And so it was than, I heard the voice of the honorable Les Brown in my head. “You gotta be hooooooongry!” And so I wrote my follow up email asking for them to reconsider me for the position and not only that, but I asked for an interview. I mean, why not! Right?!
I don’t know what the outcome will be as it is all in God’s hands. However, the aftermath of letting it sink in did get to me. But this time instead of feeling sorry for myself, I reminded myself of WHO CHRIST IS and who I am as well. I am the daughter of the Most High God. If He wants me to have that job, I will have that job. I have faith in Him. And I know He wants and knows what's best for me. It reminds me of the meme where the person is squeezing this little teddy bear ever so tightly and all the while, Jesus is holding this gigantic teddy bear behind His back. He is in control, and He knows what you need and what you don't need.
So after I had a few seconds of being in my funk, I told my daughter what happened and how I was feeling a little bummed. She felt sorry for me and left the room for a moment, only to come back to me in the kitchen dancing and praising God as I listened to Michelle sing my favorite song to get my spirits up, “When Jesus says yes, nobody can say no, when Jesus says yes, nobody can say no!” Man, I love that woman. Anyhow, after that I was pumped, and still am. I have a sneaking suspicion, however, that regardless of that position, He has a much bigger purpose for me. Sometimes we don't get things because if we did, they would roadblocks to the bigger purpose God has for us. If you have been in this position, I know you feel me and if you are in this now, DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. Jeremiah 29:11-14 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity...”
I hope this ministers to your heart today.
Also, go over and join my Facebook group: The Momfidence Movement and watch my most recent LIVE video on Forgiveness.
Xo,
Brie
